Love Hurts
by The Cutest Duckling
Summary: You can't dictate to love… series of short stories in what-if style. Every possible pairings… even the craziest! Mostly pointed to the prequels. Update every time I'll think out any.


**Part I: Dinner at Skywalker's**

A/N: In this chapter, I want to place few unusual parings into one story. The will all meet, and tell each other their stories. There will be at least one homosexual pair, so I am sorry if you have any prejudices. And… no matter that it is not possible for these to meet each other, right? And I use the Jedi Temple as a school, just for needs of this story. And Clone Wars are at their end… because Grievous disappeared, Dooku came back to the light side because of true love, and Palpatine is bound by his beloved wife. Besides, he can't turn Skywalker to the Dark side anymore, because Jedi Council allowed Jedi to marry. And Padmé is not pregnant with him…

* * *

Anakin Skywalker unlocked the door to his house and opened them. His two little kids, Leia and Luke, rushed into.

"Dear?" he called as he closed the door and helped his kids put off their coats. "We're home!"

"That's great," a woman voice from kitchen sounded. "How were you?"

"Quite fine," Anakin replied. "Obi-Wan was pretty bothersome today. Ahsoka finally came back from her honeymoon and is back in work."

"Honeymoon?" Anakin's wife asked.

"Yeah – you know that she got divorced?"

"Really? Oh, she and Lux looked so nice together." Woman sighed.

"Totally better than her present catch." Anakin grimaced.

"Yes? Who is it?" Anakin's wife spied.

"Oh, you will find it out today – Luke invited Lucien for a dinner, and I said that Snips and her spouse can come, too."

"We will have guests today? Oh, I must start cooking!"

"And this is not all. Leia immediately wanted to invite someone, too, so she invited little Dora, too."

"Dora? She is Padmé's kid, right?"

"Yes. And Ahsoka suggested that Padmé and her husband can come, too, so I had to invite them."

"Oh dear."

"Yes, and Dora boasted that she is coming to us for dinner, so another Leia's friend, Cynthia, said that she wants to come, too. You know Cynthia, do you? She is a daughter of Mace and Luminara."

"These two are together?"

"Yes, they've been together since C-wars, and when Lumi became pregnant… oh, it made a big boom in the Temple!"

"And this is all, I hope?"

"No, unfortunately. Obi-Wan is coming, too and he is bringing his kids with him."

"How many?"

"Just two, don't you remember? He adopted the twi'lek and then…"

"Yes, I remember. And his girlfriend? She's not coming with him?"

"Oh, no. She has some important business in the Senate."

"So… how many people will come for a dinner?"

"Uh… when I don't count me, you, Luke and Leia… twelve."

"Oh my god,"

Anakin stood in the door, watching his wife lovingly.

"You will make it." he assured her.

She looked up at him with a smile.

"I know, but it will be a pretty chaos." She answered.

Anakin walked to her and hugged her. "I am sorry," he said.

She laid her head on his chest. "You don't need to be."

He kissed her blond-haired head. "I love you, Sa-tee."

Satine smiled. "I know, Ani."

Anakin opened the door.

Dark-haired woman held a hand of little, approx. six-years-old girl, with pointed ears and dark hair, like her mother. She wasn't taller than sixty centimeters; she was quite small on a kid of her age.

But, forasmuch as her father was Grand Master Yoda, it wasn't that bad.

"Padmé!" Anakin smiled at the woman. "Welcome!"

"Hello, Anakin." Padmé answered with a smile. "We're sorry that we're late, Yo didn't make it from work before six."

"No matter," Satine, who appeared behind Anakin, said. She walked to little Dora and ruffled up her hair. "Leia was worried that you will not come. She couldn't wait to see you."

"Good evening, master Yoda." Anakin greeted the Jedi Master, who walked into the room, propping against his old cane.

"Good evening, young Skywalker." Yoda replied with one of his unusual smiles.

Anakin grinned. "I am not much young, master. This is more fitting to Luke or to Leia."

"For me, young Skywalker forever you will be. Forget the little boy from Tatooine, I cannot."

"The dining room is this way," Satine pointed at the door on the right.

"Everyone is already here?" Padmé asked.

"Yes," Anakin answered and opened the door.

Dining room was filled with the noise you can expect from eleven people, six kids from that.

The front of the table was empty, Anakin and his family had to sit there. Leia and Luke were already sitting; next to them master Luminara Unduli-Windu, with her daughter Cynthia on her left. Mace was sitting on the other Cynthia's side.

Then the Kenobi family. Obi-Wan with little twi'lek Numa, who became an orphan during the war and was adopted by him, and a boy Allan next to him.

Tano and her house sat across from Obi-Wan. Ahsoka, her son Lucien and Ahsoka's new wife, Asajj.

The one thing that must be said is, that Satine wasn't very happy when she found out that Ahsoka married the separatist hag, but, as she whispered to Anakin secretly, when they sat down, at least she didn't married Dooku, unlike Shaak Ti.

When Shaak Ti married Dooku, everyone was quite shocked, because everyone thought that she is in love with Grievous. Some say that Grievous did, too and that this is the reason why he disappeared.

Padmé sat down next to her husband. "Oh, you didn't invite Chancellor Palapatine?" she asked.

"Crikey!" Satine squeaked. "I forgot! Oh, he's not going to be happy."

"Why he must be everywhere you are, Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Don't have an idea, but he can be pretty annoying when he find out that we left him out." Anakin answered.

"It sometimes almost looks that he's smitten with you, Skyguy." Ahsoka grimaced.

Everyone laughed.

"Poor Mon," Padmé grinned.

"Yes, she must be really fed-up when her husband cares more about our Anakin than about her." Obi-Wan agreed.

"And this is exactly what will appear in my mind tomorrow, when I'll speak to him." Mace said grimly. "It's hard not to laugh when you think about _this_."

"You are going to speak to the Chancellor?" Satine asked curiously. "Why?"

"He's somehow uneasy because of the decision of the Order to allow marriages of Jedi Knights." Mace answered.

"Isn't this an internal thing of the Jedi Order?" Satine asked.

"That Chancellor doesn't know the word internal, we all know. Like thing of Republic, he sees it." Yoda said.

"The main point is that – if we didn't allowed it, the Order would lose almost whole Jedi High Council." Luminara said.

"That's true," Anakin agreed. "The only one free in the Council is… master Gallia, I think?"

"No, master Tiin is not engaged, too." Obi-Wan corrected him.

"Yes, he is!" Padmé objected. "You didn't hear about it? He's betrothed to Mas Amedda's sister!"

"What?" Ahsoka asked. "He has a sister?"

"Yes! Her name's Saara Amedda. I met her once when I had a meeting with Mas. She's nice, and doesn't look bad. Master Tiin is a lucky man!" Padmé proclaimed.

"So engaged too, Saesee Tiin is? Totally gone, Jedi Council is." Yoda said grimly.

"Not totally, master Yoda!" Ahsoka smiled and spooned some pudding. "Master Gallia is securing it!"

"I heard that Lux is ogling her," Satine said carefully.

Ahsoka's face turned red. "Hmm, that's just a rumour. The truth is that he has eyes only for this Steela Gerrera." She hissed.

"Who's that?"Luminara asked.

"Former rebel from Onderon. They were dating some time before, but when I married him, he promised that it's over." Ahsoka answered.

Satine was searching for any way to change the theme. "Asajj, why don't you join our conversation?" she asked nicely.

Asajj raised her head. "Oh, I am afraid I don't have anything to say." She said.

"Are you still in contact with Count Dooku?" Padmé asked and tasted some pudding.

"Yes. I am still working for him officially." She answered.

"What about him and Master Shaak Ti?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Master Shaak Ti? I think that they are happy together. She is calling him all the time we have some dealings and he is speaking about her all the time."

"I would never say that Shaak Ti and Dooku can club together." Anakin said to his plate.

"Are they planning to have some kids?" Satine asked.

"I don't know. From the few I heard from their conversations, Master Ti wants to have kids, but Count isn't so sure about that." Asajj said.

"Uncle Dooku can still have kids?" Lucien asked. "He's so old!"

Everyone shut up for a moment. They almost forgot that they have kids here. Then everyone burst into laugh.

"Hey, that isn't a bad question!" Ahsoka said. "Does anyone know how old Dooku is? It's possible that… he's… you know, unable to have kids."

Satine and Anakin looked at each other and then on Dora.

"What you two think, I know." Yoda said to them. "But a human, Dooku is. One of my species, he isn't."

This started a while of uneasy silence.

"You know, I was out of Coruscant not for a short time, and I must say that I don't have any idea where Obi-Wan came by this cute little boy." Ahsoka said and palmed head of blue-skinned boy.

Anakin sighed and bent backward. "Okay. Obi-Wan is going to tell us his love-story. Wake me up at the end."

Satine smiled at him. "Anakin!"

Obi-Wan shrugged. "I understand it, Satine. He heard that story… five times?"

"Six times." Anakin corrected him. "You told it to master Jocasta this morning, do you remember?"

"Oh, of course."

OBI-WAN'S STORY:

_You know, when the Jedi Council allowed Jedi to marry and to have relationships, it came out that almost everyone had their secret love, someone they had some suppressed feelings for. To be frank, I had some of these "loves", too. Cerasi, Siri Tachi… but they both died. It came out again now, and I was pretty down-in-the-mouth because of it. I felt – though I wasn't – like the only one in the Temple who is alone. I needed someone to speak to. Most of people I could speak to were… well, busy and I didn't want to speak to some of this "attached" people anyway. Some time I thought about having a talk with master Yoda, but then I – no offence, master – rejected it. I don't mean it meanly, but the last thing I needed to hear was that I have to release myself to the Force, and wash out these emotions. I felt that I need to give away to them._

"Okay, buddy, this is staring to be really boring," Anakin interrupted. "I'll make it short. Obi-Wan wanted to speak to Padmé, so he went to the Senate and…"

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan said offencedly. "I was telling it!"

"But you told it so tediously!"

"Okay, I'll try to make it more attractive, but don't interrupt me!"

Satine, who smelled a wrangle here, stood up. "Okay, I already heard it. I'll do and make some tea." She said.

"Make some coffee for me, Satine." Padmé said.

"For me, too." Mace sounded.

"I'll just have some water, can I?" Luminara asked.

"Of course." Satine said with a smile. Then she laid her hand on her husband's shoulder. "Ani, dear, can you go and help me?"

"Okay," he said disappointedly.

They both disappeared in the kitchen.

"So, go on, Obi-Wan, who have you met in the Senate?" Ahsoka whipped him up.

_So, when I was in the Senate, I was heading to Padmé's office, when I met Riyo Chuchi there. I asked her if she doesn't know where Padmé is, and she said that she has just been in her office, and that she's on a vacation with her husband. I didn't have anything else to do – and you must say that Riyo is pretty – so I invited her for a drink. So we drank, spoke, and I found out that Riyo is clever, witty and winsome woman after all. We had lots of things common, and I must say that she admired me a little. And I must recognize that she hold my interest because of her impressive deeds when negotiating with Talzs on Orto Plutonia. She knows her duty, but she still sees the importance of thinking about things you are doing. So, simply, I saw her home, and we kissed, but we were both too doubtful to make it go further. I felt – well, I felt more certain and somehow more self-confident, too after that._

_Anyway, after this, I didn't contact Riyo and she didn't contact me. I because I still thought of Satine, to be honest and her… she said that she still felt something towards her ex, and wanted to end it before getting in with me – I know that it sounds like some stupid holofilm, but life is life and love is deceitful._

_So the time went on, and when I got an excuse to go to Kalevala to visit Satine, I wanted to use it immediately. This was in the times Anakin just got divorced, and he was pretty…hum… down and out. He came up to me just when I was setting off, and asked me if he can't go there with me. And I was so stupid and agreed. Thus when Anakin and Satine met, they fell in love with each other, and I vanished from Satine's mind, I lost my last old flame. I sunk into love cynicism, came back to Coruscant and lived quiet. I went to Anakin and Satine's wedding, became a godparent of little Cynthia, but I totally iced up against this type of emotions._

"Coffee!" Satine called and swept into the room with a tray. She put cups with coffee in front of Mace and Padmé and a glass with water in front of Luminara. A way Luminara slightly touched her belly didn't escape her notice. "Here you are, darling," she said and smiled at her.

"Thank you, Sat." Luminara smiled.

"No problem, Lumi. Just remember that I'll be the first to know," Satine answered.

"Okay," she said.

"Where's the tea?" Ahsoka asked.

Satine shrugged. "Ani?" she called. "Move it on, honey!"

Anakin rushed inside as a flood. "Easy, guys, I wasn't gone too long," he said and handed the tray with kettle over to Satine.

She started to pour the tea out to cups.

"So," Anakin said when he sat down. "Where were you in your story, Obi-Wan? In the part that made me a villain stealing loves or in the happy-end part?"

"There's no, happy end, Anakin. I still don't know if this relationship will keep fine." Obi-Wan said.

"So you ended with Riyo Chuchi? Whoa!" Ahsoka smiled. "She isn't a bad match, master!"

Obi-Wan sighed. "Do I have to continue?"

"Oh, you must!" she said. "I totally have to know how you two made this cutie little boy! By the way, what's his name?"

"Alen. Alen Chuchi. She thought about naming him Chi, after Chairman Chi Cho, but I thought that it would be too much "ch" in his name. You know, Chi Chuchi doesn't sound much cool." Obi-Wan answered.

"And Obi-Wan Kenobi does?" Asajj grinned.

"My name doesn't matter," Obi-Wan said. "I'm from the old generation; no one is going to gibe at me."

"Except me." Ahsoka gave a notice.

"Of course except you," Obi-Wan admitted.

"Are you going to go on in your story? I think it's quite cute," Luminara said.

"Oh, if you are going to tell us how you were making Alen with Riyo," Padmé sounded, "shouldn't we send kids away?"

Obi-Wan grimaced. "Of course."

Satine lent to her daughter. "Leia, dear, can you, please, take Dora, Numa and Cynthia, and show them your room? You can have a play with your new droid. Or you can borrow Artoo," she said to her.

Leia twisted her eyes. "Okay, mum, but you don't need to be so careful," she said. "When we heard master Fisto speaking about their adult things with Knight Offee, we totally lost our illusions."

"What have you heard?" Satine asked with surprise.

"Something that they can't do… something and master Fisto spoke about peaches, I remember," Numa said. Obi-Wan stared at her.

"They didn't said what they can't do, but we thought it to the end," Dora added. She earned surprised looks of Yoda and Padmé herewith.

"They had to speak about Cudding!" Cynthia completed it proudly.

"Cudding?!" every adult – but see, except Anakin and Satine – asked.

"You know, Cudding," Leia tried to explain it to them patiently. "This is the game all parents play,"

"Yes!" Luke joined her. "The game mummy and daddy play when they lock their bedroom."

Satine was red like a cherry, Anakin was a bit red, too, but much more amused.

"The game we can't join." Leia added and crossed her little arms on her chest.

"Yes! And mummy didn't want to explain me the rules!" Luke complained.

Cynthia looked up at her parents. "Mommy, are you playing Cudding, too?"

Luminara smiled. "Oh, yes, sometimes."

"Is it funny?" Cynthia asked.

"Yes, it is!" Ahsoka answered.

"Mum, mum, can you teach me how to play it?" Dora asked.

Padmé blushed. "Um… maybe, Dora. I'll explain it to you, when you'll be older."

Lucien pulled his mother's sleeve. "Mum, are you and mommy Two playing it, too?"

Ahsoka winked at Asajj archly. "Yes, dear, we too. But we have a bit another rules, you know?"

"Have you ever won in this game, mummy?" Lucien asked.

"Yes, Luce. Once. When I played it with your father," Ahsoka answered. "And you -"- she palmed his head – "was my prize."

Lucien's eyes shined. "Really? So if you win this game, you'll get a baby?"

"Yes."

"Oh, but daddy sometimes says that having us wasn't a hit." Luke said.

Satine threw a snarky look at Anakin and then looked at Luke lovingly. "You were the best prize I could gain, Luke. And Leia too. Daddy is just… hm… he's…"

"How did you get the double prize?" Alen asked.

"Eh… what?"

"The double prize! Luke and Leia are twins, well? So they are double prize!" he explained.

"Yes, tell us, Skyguy! How did you did that?" Ahsoka teased him.

"I am just a damned good player from nature," Anakin answered. "And I am pretty hardworking when it is concerned Cuddling."

"Anakin!" Satine snapped.

"Oh, and of course, Satine is pretty skilful, too." He added.

I can't make out the name of the red on Satine's face. Hey, try it, find some RGB – model palette, and use this setting: G:0, B:0, R:255. This is approximately the color of Satine's face after this sentence.

"See, Alen, you made auntie Satine blushing!" Obi-Wan reproved Alen.

"Oh, I am sorry, auntie Satine." Alen said guiltily. Her name sounded like Sahateeem from his mouth.

"It's okay, Allan." She said. "Okay, Leia, take your friends and show them your new room."

"You have new room?" Dora asked.

Attention of girl quickly passed from Cuddling to Leia's new painted room and her brand-new personal little protocol droid.

"He's called T4-CO," she said as he leaded her friends to her room.

"And I and boys can stay here?" Luke asked with hope.

"No, Lukey, you will take Alen and Lucien to your room and show him the new feature of Artoo we found yesterday. Or you can have a play with the new simulator." Anakin said to him.

"But I want to play Cuddling." Luke said.

"Me too." Allan joined.

"I want to play Cuddling with Cynthia." Lucien said to his mother.

"Cynthia has a time yet. You all have." Mace said boldly.

"You are still too little to play it, dear." Asajj told Lucien, "You can harm yourself if you'll try to play it."

"Really?" Lucien asked.

"Yes, because when little boys play Cuddling, a big, ugly Cuddle Witch will come and catch them." Ahsoka added.

"And what then?" Luke asked.

"She will try to eat you!" Padmé said.

"And you can say bye-bye to your pretty face, Lukey." Satine nodded sadly.

"And no girl will want to play Cuddling with you anymore." Luminara added.

"Uncle Anakin?" Alen asked.

"Yes, Al?"

"Is your scar from the Cuddle Witch?"

"Yes, it is, Allan." Obi-Wan said before Anakin could deny it. "You know, Anakin wasn't patient and still wanted to play, so he started too early and the Cuddle Witch attacked him. But… I was near and saved him from her."

"Really?" Alen looked excited.

"Yes! Asajj was at it, well?" he turned to Asajj, the real creator of Skywalker's scar.

"Of course, but I had to help, because she almost ate Obi-Wan, too." Asajj nodded.

"Hey! My momma Two is a hero!" Lucien smiled.

"How does this Cuddle Witch look like?" Luke asked.

"Oh, she has a hump, shaggy white hair…" Obi-Wan fabled.

"Only thing I remember are long, sharp nails and big teeth!" Anakin said.

"Yes! Like rancor teeth, but bigger!" Asajj added.

"And sharper!" Obi-Wan tried to help.

"Did it hurt, daddy?" Luke asked.

"Oh, it hurt like hell, Lukey. It's worse than being scratched by a lightsaber." Anakin said.

"And do you know why?" Ahsoka asked. "I heard that Cuddle Witch has an acid in her saliva!"

"Really? Oh, this had to be kriffin' painful!" Lucien said.

"Luce!" Asajj snapped. "Be nice!"

"Sorry, mom two." Lucien mumbled.

"I don't know what about you, guys," Luke started theatrically. "But I think that I'm going to go before my daddy will start crying."

Anakin grinned.

"I'm not going," Lucien said. "I want my momma Two to tell me how she beat that witch."

Asajj smiled. "At home, well, Luce?"

"But mommy…" he started to complain.

"When you will be patient and wait till we'll come back home, I will tell you how I saved uncles Obi-Wan and Anakin when they were trapped in a cave on Vanqor with a stuffy gundark!" Ahsoka said.

"Really? You did?"

"Yes! But I will tell it to you only if you will be good."

"Okay, mums. I'm going, too." He mumbled.

"Do I have to –" Alen started.

"Yes." Obi-Wan said. "It would make your mother pretty angry, when she would find out that I let you listen to us."

"Okay," Alen said. It was obvious from his voice that he didn't even hope.

Luke led the other boys out from the room.

"So, Obi-Wan, come on, tell the rest to us before some of these kids will come back." Luminara whipped him on.

"Okay. So I ended with Anakin and Satine's wedding, right?"

_Some time after that, I was meditating, when Riyo called me. I picked it up and she told me that she wants to meet me. We arranged a meeting and when I came, Riyo told me, that she broke up with her ex finally for keeps. I said that it's great that she finally ended it when it so worried her, but then she said that she's carrying a baby. His baby. She was restless, because she didn't know how to explain it to her friends in the Senate, because her relationship was secret. She told me that few people from her work knew that she went on drink with me, and she asked me, if she can claim me as her baby's father. I didn't know what to say. All I thought was – What about_ my_ friends in the Temple? So I told it to her, and she said that she likes me, that I am a great man and these, and if I don't want to be her boyfriend. That we can say that we are together for a long time, but now, when she is pregnant, it's hard to hide it. She thought a story that she didn't wanted others to know that she's in love with Obi-Wan Kenobi, so well-known Jedi and she didn't want people to think that she's with me just because of my publicity._

"This sounds like a pretty bad holodrama, buddy."

"Life is life, Anakin," Obi-Wan said wisely.

"And that's supposed to mean what?" Ahsoka asked.

"That Anakin should shut up," Satine said, lifting off a dish-cover to reveal a huge rum cake. "And that we all should eat."

Mace smiled. "Wise words, Duchess. Wise words."

"So it sort of ended up with us eating instead of chatting, and then kids set the drapes on fire…"

Riyo grinned. "So you didn't finish our story."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "No."

Riyo shrugged. "That's good, too. But if you thought I will be mad at you for telling our friends the truth… I think people should know."

"That Alen isn't mine?"

Riyo nodded, sipping her caf. "Mhm."

Obi-Wan sighed. "I suppose you're right, honey."

She smiled at him and kissed him on his cheek. "As always."

He stood up. "I'll take a shower."

"Fine," she said.

Obi-Wan left and Chuchi's comlink started to beep.

She frowned at the caller. "I told you not to contact me."

He returned her frown. "I want to see my son."

"I know," she said. "But he doesn't even know that you're his father."

"He should know the truth."

"I know."

"So tell him."

"Not now."

She heard steps from Alen's room as he walked to the lounge.

"Someone's coming. Call me later."

"I think I will rather visit you."

Riyo's face turned dark. "Don't dare, Bane," she said and turned off the comlink.

The face of Cad Bane, father of Alen Chuchi, disappeared.

* * *

**Dark end to a jolly story!**

**Sorry for it.**

**Thank a lot to my co-writer, Donnie. I borrowed his Pad-Yod paring.**

**I think I will think out some New Hope era story next time, so look forward to it!**

**Yours,**

**_Moya_**


End file.
